Conflict as an Opportunity

Conflict. 1. Prolonged battle. 2. Controversy or disagreement.

Ask someone what he or she fears most, and chances are pretty good that they won't say, "conflict." Conflict will be somewhere far below public speaking, death and taxes. But most of us respond to conflict with fear.

The biological response to fear is to produce adrenaline. Adrenaline boosts our energy and prepares us for "fight or flight." When faced with conflict most of us respond in one of two ways; by diving head first into the fray (fight) or by attempting to ignore and avoid the conflict altogether (flight).

Most of us assume that conflict is a battle, an attack, something to fear, and we respond accordingly.

What a waste of a perfectly good conflict!

I'm serious. The fight or flight response wastes precious opportunities to affect real change in our lives. We need to learn to manage controversy and disagreement.

Nothing interesting happens without conflict! Imagine spending two hours watching a movie that has no internal conflict, conflict among characters, or even an external conflict with the world. How boring that would be. When it comes to drama, we love conflict.

Nothing interesting happens without conflict in real life either. Conflict is the catalyst for change in our personal lives and at work. Handled properly, conflict opens communication, strengthens teams, and stimulates innovation.

So, how do we go from fight or flight, to embracing conflict? We need to learn conflict resolution skills.

• Don't take it personally. What makes conflict so uncomfortable is our perception that we are under attack. Reframe the conflict to be about something rather than somebody.

• Learn to recognize conflict before it escalates. Be observant and ask good questions. It's much easier to manage conflict, before it gets "personal."

• Have a win-win attitude. Approach all conflicts as if there is a solution that will satisfy everyone.
   

• Keep an open mind. Listen to all points of view. Encourage people to disagree. Respect everyone's opinion.
   

• Set ground rules. Particularly when you are called on to mediate set rules regarding attitude, interruptions, and resolution. Get the permission of both parties to act as mediator.

Look at conflict as an opportunity!

 

Other related articles:

Better Communication
Ask
Resolving Conflict
Workplace Conflict

For information on conflict resolution programs:

Handling Conflict

© Copyright Cindy Ventrice, 2000

Cindy Ventrice of Potential Unlimited has been a consultant/trainer  since 1984. Potential Unlimited provides relationship building solutions that improve morale, productivity and profitability.  She can be reached at 831-476-4224, or email: CVentrice@potential-unltd.com

programs    FAQ's     articles    e-zine    telecommuting     resources    home